I don’t believe in the admissibility of what are called ‘little white lies’. According to Merriam Webster’s online dictionary, the idiom ‘white lie’ means “a lie about a small or unimportant matter that someone tells to avoid hurting another person.” Apparently a ‘little’ white lie is to be perceived as the smallest or least important of white lies; and of course there are euphemisms to make little white lies seem even more acceptable.  Psychology Today (PT) uses one to make a case for telling little white lies, in this quote: “Sometimes it’s wise to fib just a little. Telling the whole truth to a person who isn’t prepared for it can destroy the trust and good will between people. White lies often come from a sense of compassion, not a desire to deceive.”

Based on God’s word in the Bible, I take exception to the implications of that blanket statement. First of all, let’s call a spade a spade, and a lie a lie – not a ‘fib’. We are told that the word ‘fib’ likely came from the 16th century term ‘fible-fable’ meaning ‘nonsense’. Fables were short stories made up to teach moral lessons, often using animals as characters; so everyone past early childhood knew that they were just fictional tales – not intended to be taken as factual. What an irony it is that this word originally related to teaching moral lessons has been reduced to ‘fib’ – a euphemism for lying. I submit that it’s indeed nonsense to let that little euphemism sweet-talk us into disregarding the Biblical injunctions against lying.

My second response to the PT comment is that responding honestly to a question or situation does not imply telling your perceived ‘whole truth’ to someone whom you judge unable to receive it well. Yeshua (Jesus) in John 16:12 said to His close disciples, “I still have much to tell you, but you cannot yet bear to hear it.” So He only told them the parts He judged they could handle at that time. In our own situations, by giving adequate thought to our response (being “slow to speak” – James 1:19) we can often find a way to respond honestly without causing injury. On the other hand, we can let our mouths be used by God to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) even when it may challenge the hearer(s), for their own good. God’s word says that perfect love drives out fear. We should ask God to improve our communication of love to others, so that we can speak truthfully in love rather than untruthfully in fear of unfavorable reactions.

My final response to the PT comment applies to the motivation it attributes to the users of little white lies. Where the motivation is indeed compassion for the hearer(s), that exercise of compassion is based on ignorance of the true facts about lying. Based on the premise of God’s word being true and every contrary word being false (Romans 3:4) let me revise a few of the Biblical statements and instructions that should constrain us to speak the truth.

The first: Exodus 20:16, Deuteronomy 5:17 – “Do not bear false witness against your neighbor.^“

Ephesians 4:15 – “Speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ…”

Ephesians 4:25 – “Lay aside lying and each one of you speak truth with his neighbor.”

Zechariah 8:16 – “These are the things that you are to do: speak the truth one to another; administer the judgment of truth…”

Proverbs 24:28 – “Do not deceive with your lips.”

Colossians 3:9 – “Do not lie to one another.”

Psalm 12:2 – “(Liars) speak falsehood to one another; with flattering lips and with a double heart they speak.”

Proverbs 12:22 – “Lying lips are an abomination to the LORD, But those who deal faithfully are His delight.”

The last words: Revelation 21:8 and 27 – “For the cowardly and unbelieving and abominable and murderers and immoral persons and sorcerers and idolaters and all liars, their part will be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death… There shall by no means enter (God’s holy city) anything that defiles, or causes an abomination or a lie…” Finally (22:15) “Outside (of God’s holy city) are dogs and sorcerers and sexually immoral and murderers and idolaters, and whoever loves and practices a lie.”

I wonder why Revelation 21:8 used the phrase “all liars” instead of just “liars”. Could it be a reference to the various subtitles that mankind has superimposed on the sin of lying, such as fibbing, exaggeration, flattery, joking, and so on? That’s definitely possible.

The good news is, one is not called a ‘liar’ until lying has become a part of one’s character and general practice, so it’s very possible to avoid joining that group. More good news: it’s even possible to climb out of the ‘liars’ pool if you had stepped in without full understanding of its murky waters, and now that you have a better understanding you want out. Ask God to help you climb out, and He will.